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| I miss you austin!! so much! Wow, this is definatly the hardest thing i have ever had to face. It is so hard coming home and being here without you. The absence of you is killing me. If you only knew how much I miss you.. I can't even begin to tell you! I drive by your house, and see your good ole red truck sitting in the driveway.. and look at your bedroom window, just wishing with tears filling my eyes that you would somehow be in there. But I know your not, and never will be again... and let me tell you, that is the worst feeling I have ever felt. Its weird how so many things brings back so many memories of you. I will hear a dave matthews or rascal flats song, and all of the memories of us driving down the road, blasting the music, singing as loud as we can come back to me... then I close my eyes and the music that I am listening to starts to fade, and all I can hear is your voice and your laugh.. and see your face. I loved that laugh, and your smile.. i think thats what I miss the most. Wow, this is tough. I know your parents are going through it.. because if I am this bad, I can only imagine how they must feel. But dont worry, I pray for them daily, and I sent your family a cristmas card, wih a few "Austin memories" included in it. I'm trying to take care of what you left behind. I guess you will never know how many tears I have shed because of you... its quite a few. You made me cry several times while you were here, but I have never cried this much about anything or anyone since you've been gone. I am home, but I still feel homesick.. for you. I guess its just like the song says, "I'v never been more homesick than now".
But I guess your having a better Christmas than any of us down here, you are getting to celebrate Jesus birth with Jesus Himself! wow, thats gotta be amazing...birthday party "heaven style".. now theres something we have never experienced together, but we will one day. I wish I was there, I really do, for more reasons than one! WOW I miss you Austin.. never thought I would experence anything like this. You had such an impact on my life.. I know alot of people didnt understand you, and honestly they missed out. They didn't take the time to know who you really were, deep down. I knew the Austin that many people never knew, and I feel so blessed and honored because of what God gave me, a much to short, but amazing friendship with YOU!
I love you and I miss you buddy!!! | | |
| Isn't it weird when things can get so terrible, then they start to build back up good again, then that wall that you have been working so hard to build back up crumbles back down again?! hmm... yeah, I hate that part of it. oh well, at least finals are FINALLY over and I MADE IT!! Wow, first semester of college was fun, challenging, crazy, fun, sad at times, stressful, eventful, fun, insane, and did I mention FUN? Shed some tears.. happy and sad ones, but the best thing about it is all my wonderful and unbelieveable friends!! Wow, you guys are amazing, I am so glad God has brought us together! I don't know what I would do with out you people! I am so glad I have yall to come back too! It will be kinda weird without you for a whole MONTH!
But next semester might be a little challenging... coming back without my best friend OR my brother. Wow, I am going to miss them both! Best friends just arn't meant to be split up.. or at least not Julie and Kelley. This is going to be an interesting last day here with the both of them... at least we have the good memories to last us through the alone times.
God is GOOD! | | |
| Ok, so basically.. school sucks, ballet sucks, people suck, life sucks, and I suck at all the above. lol. naa, not really, but it feels like everything is hard right now.. I am way stressing over school and ballet.. a little too much. It makes it kinda hard when your parents try to make you into some kind of a perfect kid that your not. I mean, my parents find out I'm making a C in one of my classes so they put a guilt trip on me.. make me cry.. and then they put on the whole.. "do better than your best in everything you do" thing on me.. ugh I hate that. I mean, if I didn't try, I could understand, but when I am working my butt off all semester.. they should be a little better about it all. and omg I am so sick of school!!!!!!!!! And ballet.. wow, thats a whole nother story that I'm not even going to get into. I seriously have never worked this hard in anything in my life. And on top of all that, I'm not having the best relationships with a select few. which adds even more stress.. esp when i have to practically baby-sit a 20 year old!!!! It's kinda funny how someone's stupid mistakes can come so close to ruining a friendship so quickly. And it probably wouldn't be a big deal if it happened just once, but when it's repetitive.. thats when it gets old.. and your just like forget it.. nothing is worth all of this. I guess we just all have to do what the bible says, when someone wrongs you, turn the other cheek. Forgive even when they don't deserve it.. which in most cases I have seen lately.. they really don't!
But anyway, I'm not trying to be negative, just venting a little.. life really isnt as bad as all that. Just a stressful time I guess right now for eveveryone. But, yay!! only 8 more days til break!!! yay!! I can't wait.. I'll miss my friends here, but I miss home too. So it will be awesome!
Be happy! God is great! | | |
| "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1Corinthians 10:12-13
"Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything ."
James 1:2-4
Life can bring us to face many things that seem impossible to overcome or get through... and when things don't seem to ever go our way, God might be trying to teach us something. He is our only way out and He will pull us through anything. | | |
| Happy thanksgiving my friends! | | |
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